Life Cycle

Hello all, it's your unfaithful blogger back with a randomly-timed post.

Speaking of time, it's insane how much can happen in just a short amount of time.

Since I've been gone, I've climbed to the top of the largest and oldest Buddhist temple in the world (and almost passed out--don't forget to eat breakfast!): Borobudur.

I've done a filmed presentation on my life in Indonesia in front of four schools (including my own) and managed not to freak out completely.

I've sat in a muddy boat and released fish in a river, then planted a tree to help preserve a forest in this concrete jungle known as Jakarta.

I finally got to see and touch my favorite animal: A komodo dragon. And I got to keep a tooth.

I've competed and managed to win third place in a competition with my host mother, brother, and our neighbor--we won 2,000,000 rupiah (roughly $200)!!!

These are just small tokens of the many exciting adventures I've had over the past few months. But those events are nothing to the amount of change that has overcome me in these 9 months in Indonesia.

I feel very strange at the moment. As if I am no longer the same Baillie I was when I left Virginia on a noon flight. I feel as if I've completely started over, a whole new life that started the moment I moved in with my host family. I've been through the trials and tribulations of getting used to new surroundings (the infant stage). I wandered the streets of my new city with wide, interested eyes, clinging to my family as they helped me begin my new life in such a critical point of exchange.

I had to overcome extreme barriers such as language and culture next (the toddler stage). I took my time getting used to the taste of strange words on my foreign tongue, and even longer time to adapt to some of the strangest customs. Waving your hand down, while in the US would mean sit down now meant come here. Saying "unh-unh" in the US constituted a 'no', but while in Indonesia, that is an utterance of agreement. 'Shaking hands' with adults is actually pressing their hand to your forehead, in a sign of respect. But eventually, I did get the hang of all of this.


Once I became more comfortable, I was on top of the world. There was neither bad nor good, just a happy medium that I was more than content with (the child stage). I felt light and airy as I grew comfortable with my surroundings: traveling alone by train, eating exotic foods I would've never picked up back in my home country (squid and goat are my two examples), and speaking the language in the utmost confidence. I knew very little about what was going on around me, only that I was enjoying my time and living life to the fullest, and that's all that really mattered to me at the time.


Then, things got dark again. I couldn't find my reason for being here, I felt like I hadn't accomplished much and just was confused in general (the teenager stage). I stumbled over words I had known for months out of nervousness. I grew anxious with everything, whether it be school, public transport, or the lack of knowledge I felt I had yet to culminate. I grew weary as I woke up everyday, looking at the calendar and wondering how I still had so many months left. Hadn't I done everything I could possibly do?

And finally, as the life cycle goes, I have reached the peak of adulthood. I now have seen myself mature from a young girl into a woman who is proud of herself. I've grown to love myself more than I ever have in the US, I've grown to learn that it is okay to love yourself. And more importantly, that it's okay to love others. I've realized the burdens of the world now; the tragedies that befall my beautiful second home, the joy and sorrow of loving people you may not see again for years to come, and that to enjoy life, you must let go of the reins and ride freely: but to release those reins, you must first take them back from others who may be holding them. I've begun to see the results of my weekly English lessons with children of the nearby kampung. I've begun to see how my relationships with classmates at school has helped them see the United States in a new and realistic light. I see now how important it is for students from all over the world to go away and teach others about their land while picking up a few tidbits themselves. I even have begun to see my skin in a new way, embracing not only my color but the things that differentiate me from a set of standards that people may have set for me. Yes, I believe I've grown a lot and only have more growing to do as my exchange continues.

But that life cycle isn't what's making me feel so weird. It's the fact that as my exchange comes to a close, I'm afraid of death. Or the 'afterlife', so to speak. I've created my own little world here, and I am now a new and improved version of myself. But what's going to happen when I return? Do I go back to the mundane high school activities that compare in no way to the incredible experiences I've had here? Or do I have to start my life cycle all over again, readjusting to the old patterns, getting adapted all over again?


And as I write this out, I'm beginning to realize that perhaps I shouldn't be worrying about this now. I should take the advice of myself and many others, and just enjoy the rest of what exchange has to offer. Still, it's hard to imagine the end of this life I have created. My school year ends this Friday, my exchange year ends in a little under seven weeks. This life as I know it will cease to exist, and I have to face my old self head on and hand it a slice of my new self, and only hope the two will coexist peacefully. But who am I to say what will happen? I could turn my back on this exchange life and just remember it as a year of incredible experiences. Or maybe I'll take this as a time of renewal and personal rebirth, and change myself completely. Or perhaps, I'll be lucky and my new and old self will merge seamlessly with no enormous conflict, and I'll be just Baillie again. But I reiterate, who am I to say?

 After all, none of us truly knows what goes on in the afterlife.


Sampai jumpa lagi,

-Baillie

School and Life (+Photos of where I've been!)

God, is it that time already? Applications are due for those new applicants, and I am so excited for them. Their experience is just beginning.

Now for those wondering what I've been up to, I apologize again for my lack of post and videos. My internet isn't the fastest and it takes a lot of time to write these posts, upload pictures, and make it presentable to post on the internet. But that's not really an excuse.

School has been tough for me, and I come home lazy and wanting to do nothing but eat, sleep, and curl up with my Korean dramas.

I made a decision to switch classes, which was supposed to be an exciting, freeing experience. Before I was in a class with my host sister and her friends, but I left to experience the Social track rather than the Science track. My first day in there was awful. It triggered some of my 'beginning of exchange' feelings and I went back into a dark place I had settled in at the beginning of my exchange. But my host family, who I have grown to love and truly appreciate, helped me through that rough patch in a single night. And things are looking up already.

That being said, Indonesian school is something to really talk about. It's mainly self-education, a lot of reading and presenting rather than lectures and memorization. The presenting is all done by the students, and the teachers tend to just assign topics. It's an...interesting concept, but I'm not a huge fan of it as of yet.

And about the teachers...substitution hasn't really made it's way to Indonesia, so if a teacher doesn't show up for one reason or another, the class tends to turn into a field-day. It's really interesting to watch teenagers run around playing tag, soccer, and some funky version of leap frog in the middle of the classroom.

But the school life can be really entertaining when you have teman-teman, or friends. We have several scheduled breaks throughout the day where you can go down to the kantin and buy food and drinks and chill with classmates on the many benches and walkways throughout the school. And then there are those times when you didn't get enough sleep last night, so feel free to take a nap during that time, no one will judge! But don't expect anyone to get quiet for you, ha-ha.

Life has gotten so much better for me, especially since I was on holiday for most of November. First I got to go on a class-trip with my previous class. We went to Bandung and went to a huge lake and also got to stand inside of a sulfur-filled crater! While I may not have hung out with my classmates as much as I had liked,we still got to bond and take tons of AWESOME photos:

Here's a group shot of all the students who came along. Can you spot me?

The girls said to pose 'hipster' and this is what came from that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here I am, crossing a sulfur-filled crater over very unstable rocks. My shoes were soaked.

Tons more photos on my facebook page for those who have access...it takes about 5-10 minutes to upload one photo and I've already been on the computer for two hours today so I'm sorry.

 Christmas came two days after. But the very next day was Christmas Eve and I was so sad. I knew it was going to be an awful day so I curled up in bed and ate chocolate and fried chicken and watched old movies like Clueless and a Christmas Story. Around 6 or 7 I decided to come out of my slump and went downstairs to see my sister and her boyfriend looking over sheet music for a violin and guitar. I remembered them saying they didn't really have too much knowledge on notes and I decided to show them what I knew from choir. That was so much fun.

I was surprised how much of an impact I had on them, and it helped us come up with new ideas for the school chorus and everything. And around 9 or 10 PM my family surprised me with gifts, something I had not been expecting. A little stuffed-Santa Claus from my bapak, a very cute messenger bag from my ibu, and a chain for my broken necklace from my sister. It was great. I was so thankful and it was all so unexpected, and my homesickness washed away in an instant.

The next day, Christmas, we went to a large mall down by bapak's office, and I went to a bookstore with Jasmine, where we got some sheet music to practice with, which excited me a ton (plus I got to stop at my favorite Taiwanese snack stand and enjoy the amazing fried chicken)! But I was starting to feel ill and sure enough the next day I woke up with a fever, curled up in bed at 5 AM, not able to talk because my throat was hurting so much. But I felt well enough a day or so later, where I joined AFS Jakarta for their Christmas party. I had to do a power point on Christmas in America. That was interesting.

A couple days later, ibu casually told me that we were going to take a trip in the morning. I didn't realize that we were waking up at 6 AM to drive down to some gorgeous place about 2 hours away, but I had no regrets. Just look at this view.
 

Me, Jasmine, and Alfian!

Totally "candid" shot of Alfian, Bagas, me, and Jasmine!

We got more adventurous and went out on the water. Cheer pose!

After that, my days grew better and better. New Years Eve was tons of fun for me. While laughing and playing with my family in the kitchen, grilling fish and chicken, our neighbors were putting on firework shows. Here, people tend to just shoot the fireworks off in their yards. Needless to say, fireworks were coming from everywhere. By the time we got up on the balcony at midnight, the sky was lit up with huge fireworks coming from every which way, and it was one of the most beautiful things I had seen. Prettier to me than many of the views I experienced during my travels in Indonesia.

There's just something about bright sparks against a dark sky, lighting up palm trees and beautiful homes that makes you go wow. Jakarta can really be a beautiful place at night. Especially on New Years Eve.

And now here I am, sitting at this computer, about to complete my daily routine of eating, sleeping, and Korean Drama watching, before getting up at 5 AM for school tomorrow. But everyday brings new surprises. Like yesterday, I received an AMAZING package from my father, and today an equally awesome package from my mother. We got let out of school early today for some reason I'm still not sure of.

Everyday brings new adventures for me, and I've gotten to that point where I realize them, and sit back and enjoy every minute. I'll update you all soon when I get the chance.

Sampai jumpa lagi,

-Baillie